As horrific as Shadows Beneath the Skin and Respect By Choice II are, they set the stage for the true horrors of the album found in the following four tracks, three of which should always be listened to in order, together.

UNSPEAKABLE

Your gospel decrees unworth
That we are undeserving of warmth
You must believe in the Son
For the afterlife to be won
Life’s punishment is free
Only in death, sweet victory 
Be puritan, be chained
Be humble or be detained
Cast aside those filthy thoughts
Or the inquisition will be sought 
Dear God why must we die to live
God how much more can we give
Hallelujah for Messiah
Or die in righteous fire
The writhing will continue
Until morale improves 

The violence
The silence
It’s all so unspeakable 
The cowardice
The lies let slip
It’s all so unspeakable
The bloodshed
The ground, red
It’s all so unspeakable
The muffled cries
The faithless die
It’s all so unspeakable 

Deny a life well lived
To those who aren’t your kin
Remind them of peril
And the hellfire heralded
The horsemen are coming
As God’s punishment fuming
Sodom a testament  
For God’s wrath hellbent  
He bestows the mark of Cain
Upon a species slain
For refusing to know
A god without face shown 
Reinforce self-hate
A mind set free is late
The beatings will continue 
Until morale improves 

The violence
The silence
It’s all so unspeakable 
The cowardice
The lies let slip
It’s all so unspeakable
The bloodshed
The ground, red
It’s all so unspeakable
The muffled cries
The faithless die
It’s all so unspeakable

A death of a god made flesh
Supposed sins now washed
You have to thread the needle
Believe in the Son or face hell
Prove your fealty to me
Evangelize or fall to knees
Take now this knife unclean
Sacrifice your children to me
Human distortion of the divine 
Human wretchedness in human lives
Hell inflicted by human hands
Human carnage in human lands
In the name of the Lord
In the name of unholy wars
The dying will continue
Until morale improves

The violence
The silence
It’s all so unspeakable 
The cowardice
The lies let slip
It’s all so unspeakable
The bloodshed
The ground, red
It’s all so unspeakable
The muffled cries
The faithless die
It’s all so unspeakable

The violence
The silence
It’s all so unspeakable 
The cowardice
The lies let slip
It’s all so unspeakable
The bloodshed
The ground, red
It’s all so unspeakable
The muffled cries
The faithless die
It’s all so unspeakable

Unspeakable, on the surface appears to be a straightforward critique of bloodthirsty religious types, and the lyrics reflect as much. However, if you listen closely, you’ll hear the beginnings of fracturing. We don’t know when Lyra knew that we were a system, and it’s possible this is pure coincidence, but if you listen closely to the background vocals over the course of the song, they grow more intense and frenzied as time goes on. Our trauma that led to our sundering was in fact given by religious types, so if we consider the separation of the soul growing louder and louder as the trauma increased (song progresses), it all makes perfect sense especially as we lead into Nitroglycerin.

NITROGLYCERIN

Can you hear me
I’ve lost my way
Can you see me
I’m gone today
Can you find me 
I’m fading fast
Can you feel me
I’m numb today

Nitroglycerin
Don’t you come too close
Nitroglycerin
Can you hear this prose
Nitroglycerin
I have lost my way
Nitroglycerin
Stay the fuck away

Can you hear me
I’ve lost my way
Can you see me
I’m gone today
Can you find me 
I’m fading fast
Can you feel me
I’m numb today

Nitroglycerin
Don’t you come too close
Nitroglycerin
Can you hear this prose
Nitroglycerin
I have lost my way
Nitroglycerin
Stay the fuck away

Can you hear me
I’ve lost my way
Can you see me
I’m gone today
Can you find me 
I’m fading fast
Can you feel me
I’m numb today

Nitroglycerin
Don’t you come too close
Nitroglycerin
Can you hear this prose
Nitroglycerin
I have lost my way
Nitroglycerin
Stay the fuck away

Nitroglycerin is a statement of a “problem.” By this point, the self had been sundered, and Jessica was lost in a permanent dissociative fog. The original version of this song appeared on their Deathphoria release and was electronic in nature, but equally as seemingly hopeless and full of despair.

What was assumed to be a call for reinforcements in bringing in a close friend, Mykie Frankenstein, ended up making for a truly haunting account of dissociation and DID. Listen to the vocals carefully, the lyrics are the same throughout the three verses, but the way in which the vocals become more estranged from each other over the course of those three verses suggests a deepening and permanent split of Jessica’s self. It’s as if the voices are unaware of each other, each moaning their song.

LIFE, DEATH, AND RESURRECTION

This instrumental is clearly split into three parts and reflects the beforetimes, the trauma, and a hint at a future of relative peace. What is interesting to us is that Jessica does not provide a solo on this song, the “guitar” solos are actually distorted electric ukulele as performed by Lyra. This is the second of three songs that are meant to be played in one sitting, in order.

DIVINE EXTORTION

You go and stick your pin in me
You declare condemnation for me
You inflict punishment onto me
Divine extortion for all to see

You go and stick your pin in me
You declare condemnation for me
You inflict punishment onto me
Divine extortion for all to see

Bipolar
A fucking pain whore
The mania
The closed bloodstained door

Burning
Seething 
Vise-grip
Unyielding

Writhing
Agony
Implosion
For all to see

Laughing
Crying
Frenzied
Dying 

You go and stick your pin in me
You declare condemnation for me
You inflict punishment onto me
Divine extortion for all to see

You go and stick your pin in me
You declare condemnation for me
You inflict punishment onto me
Divine extortion for all to see

Pariah
Anti-messiah
A soul on fire
A funeral pyre 

A dirty leper
Unholy fever 
A hellish creature
Throw the lever  

A slow burn
With blood and breath
With twists and turns 
I march toward death 

A dark pact
Worship for peace
From hell on earth
Never find release

Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!

Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!
Rise up and make myself whole!

Now ascending
In self-industry
An act of defiance
For all to see

No need for union
But now made whole
I’ll rise today
By this fiery soul 

If hell awaits
That’s fine with me
Eternal worship
Does nothing for me

And I will reclaim 
This soul once broken
And now I walk through 
The door now open 

You go and stick your pin in me
You go declare condemnation for me
You go inflict punishment onto me
Divine extortion for all to see

You go and stick your pin in me
You go declare condemnation for me
You go inflict punishment onto me
Divine extortion for all to see

This was the song where Lyra pointed out to Jessica that she knew Jessica was a system of personalities and was also the song where Jessica began to realize that in her dissociation, she had written an album lyrically with dual meanings. What appears to be a mere blaming of God (or Chance, or Fate) for a life lived in the painful periphery, is actually an account of Jessica’s life. They were once whole, became afflicted with Bipolar 1 and Dissociative Identity Disorder, and then found a way to thrive in spite of those psychic hells.

Once again, pay close attention to Lyra’s backing vocals as they increase in intensity and ferocity during the bridge. It all makes sense.