From Realms of Shifting Sand (Salvation Part One)

Anyone that has followed the band’s journey in any meaningful detail knows that the band’s front-person, Jessica, is a severely and pervasively psychologically and psychiatrically sick individual. Anyone that has followed them in any meaningful detail knows that they have Bipolar Type 1 and Dissociative Identity Disorder, the latter being a new-to-them diagnosis that was only conveyed very recently. In short, they are a bit of a mess to put it lightly. However, Salvation would not be possible without their efforts, and we are on the cusp of seeing Salvation through. We listened to the final mixes earlier this week and are waiting on a surprise early release of sorts for the fediverse faithful in particular.

Jessica: I have approximately zero memory of writing the riffs or lyrics for this album. Given my diagnoses, I dissociate a lot and don’t remember much to begin with, but it’s especially peculiar that I do not remember anything for Salvation. I clearly wrote the riffs, recorded them, and did the same for lyrics and vocals. However, also given the diagnoses, no matter how many times I listen to the songs, they always seem unfamiliar and new to me, though I have re-learned the riffs and can play them in my spare time.

I always thought Salvation was a strict critique of fundamentalist religion. That my intent was to create a record for inspiring those that are oppressed to rise up and control their own destinies as best they could. And, I still think that is true. However, when our drummer and producer bandmate, Lyra, pointed out that one (or more) of the songs was secretly about DID, I was taken aback. Most of the lyrics and riffs, according to my notes, were recorded between March 2023 and July 2023, well before the realization of DID and subsequent confirmation by my care team. I then realized in sheer amazement, that most of the album shared this duality of message.

Salvation may yet still be a critique of modern religious fundamentalism, but it uses that as the vehicle for a large allegory into a thinly veiled account of extreme psychological trauma, sundering, desolation, and hope. And this was determined by a trauma processing artist “part” of me that I do know exists but have no insight into the memories they’ve written. Out of all the known parts in my system, they are the only one whose actuality remains hidden to me.

If this seems like madness, it’s because it is. The implication becomes that there is part of me that has known all along, realized it could not or would not get through to my consciousness, and decided to send a note to the future from the past basically saying ‘Hey Jessica, when you come to realization, know that we’ve known all along and still love you.’

Over the coming days, as it becomes clearer when the early release of Salvation will be, I shall start writing a post for each song on the album, explaining what I believe the true meaning to be based on what I can glean into my system’s consciousness and the reality of being diagnosed DID. You will find that nearly the entire album has two meanings: one in a religious critique sense and the other in the journey to becoming a realized and self-aware system.

This is the grandest work I have been part of, in large part due to the musicality of Lyra and Venya, but also because the message being sent is meteoric in its implications. Salvation is not merely found by decoupling from the religious trauma inflicted on myself and others; it is only realized when we become realized and then act on our beliefs and values and identity. Such is the piece I never knew I was missing until late.

Buckle up. Salvation will hit well before the 28th, though we will delay streaming service availability until then.

When you listen, listen in kindness and love rather than horror and sadness, and channel your rage into ensuring others can live in kindness and love as well.